Kelly is very sick.

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Kelly is very sick.

Post by Hermskii » Fri Oct 26, 2012 3:31 pm

This just blows my mind


http://hooksutplace.freeforums.org/view ... f=9&t=1783

Pray people. PRAY!
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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Hook » Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:16 pm

I've been praying every chance I get.
My thoughts turn to Kelly all day it seems.
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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Hermskii » Fri Nov 02, 2012 8:56 am

Would you say that you "Love" him? LOL.
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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Hook » Sat Nov 03, 2012 1:41 am

Love - in the sense that he is a fellow human being. :?
He has been on my mind a lot - terrible thing to have to go through! :(
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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Kelly » Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:16 am

First off, thank you Herm for allowing me to post. Classy move on your part considering my behavior of the past couple of years. I can assure you though that much like I have done for Hook I will also do for here in that I am a different person now and let's just say that my outlook is vastly improved. I will never be trouble again anywhere.


Now, back to the current thread stuff. Yeah, I got cancer of the head-and-neck, my tonsil to be exact (with some mets to nearby lymph nodes). It's a nasty cancer to treat but it can be cured a large percent of the time. Mine was caught early so hopefully it looks like a winter of pain and then maybe a spring of hope. I keep a fully public FB page here: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004648950951 where I update once a week or so with the current goings-on. You can glance at the surgery pics and see the stuff as it happens, just be warned I'm pretty open and graphic about the process. Squeamish people beware.

I start my first round of chemo today and I'm pretty nervous (that's why I'm up so late). Radiation begins middle of next week but the drugs are what scare me the most since the reactions are so unpredictable. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do I guess.

I'm out of the UT world completely at the moment. Financially this has devastated us so I'll likely never do the rented server/website/hosted forum thing again. I still have my home server gear and there may come a time when I get too sick to keep working and I dig it back out just to keep my mind occupied but for now I'm doing squat besides a half-day of office work at the P.O. and a lot of napping and TV.

If you like I still answer questions and you are still free to call me at home. Be warned that I sound VERY different on the phone because most of my soft palate was removed in the surgery (along with a row of teeth to make way for the rads), making my voice very nasal and impeding my speech a great deal. This is likely permanent but at least I got to keep my voice. Trust me, when it comes to cancer you count the things you get to keep and everything else is OK as long as you keep waking up each morning.

Thank you Hook and Herm for the private letters and support. It really does mean the world to me to read it. Some days are much darker than others and on those days it helps to go back and reread them so thank you for taking the time to send them. I don't know how this is going to turn out but you guys have certainly proven to be the better gentlemen.

Sorry to amble on like this but nervous guys tend to blabber about. I think I'll quit now :wink:
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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Hermskii » Thu Dec 06, 2012 12:29 am

Hey Kelly!

Thanks for some update info. I can't imagine the whole mental process you must be enduring aside from the physical hell this crap is putting you through. I want to be gentle and careful in my discussions with you about all of this but I don't want to soften it up or pretty it up or anything either. This is awful what is happening to you "currently" and I think it may be important to keep it wide open and as ugly as it is to keep people on track about what is happening with you and thousands of other people all over the world. I'll certainly tone down the discussion if you want but based on your Facebook page and pictures and all I think you feel about the same that it is better to share this pain and despair than to keep it all in like you can protect any of us from it by not sharing your ordeal.

I'm happy to see that your support has been 100%. Everyone seems to be pulling for you and prayers are flying all over the place in your name. Your impact on the UT community is undeniable and I hope you are witnessing it as much as we are.

Funny how you are cutting back on expenses and all of that stuff in regards to mounting cost of care and everything. How quickly things change. Is wasn't long ago at all that you were over me and many other free money to help us get our sites up and running. Keep your money. It was never any good here anyways. I'm glad you are still able to help out folks here and there as you desire to.

Would you say your family is holding up as well as you appear to be? Didn't you say you got to get back to work for a little bit recently? How are they? You never answered me on another forum...did you smoke before? Do you have any conspiracy theories about how or why this is happening to you? I ask because I have a theory about myself. I think I already have what is going to cause my demise in me already. I just feel like it hasn't "activated" yet. Just like a terrorist cell except this would more likely be a cancer cell just sitting in wait. I do feel that when I die and if I go to heaven that I get to see and know everything I ever wondered about. I will have full knowledge of all and what little my mind can handle. I'll be mad to find out it wasn't the cigarettes that caused my cancer (if that is what gets me) but rather the chemical on the wood of the match I lit my cigarettes with that kept the wood from turning tan in color or bending or some stupid little detail like that. In the end it doesn't matter but I like to know the little details sometimes.

Keep us posted and post often. I pray for you and your family daily. I also recall that fox story that posted here often. the one where you came home one day and there was a fox on your couch. I think of all of the countless hours we have spent on the phone yapping about everything UT and much much more. It still amazes me you're a postal worker and not some Unix Administrator or a top computer security expert for a government somewhere. Your talents abound and I'm pretty happy you spent some time with us in the UT world too. Thanks. Talk to you soon and take care.
~Peace~

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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Kelly » Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:00 am

Really you or anyone else can ask anything you like. I'm pretty open about stuff because I think it helps everyone to be honest and open about the entire process. Since you want to know the likely 'source' of my cancer, I'll explain it but the explanation may bump up against the forum rules against adult talk. I'll strive to keep it clinical, but my experience is becoming VERY common now and increasing every day. More on that in a moment, but it's good to talk about this because there are surely a lot of guys even reading this that are just like me.

So head-and-neck cancer is mostly caused by smoking. Some portion is caused by heavy and prolonged drinking and a smaller bit is caused by some asian cultures where betel root is chewed. It's a nasty deadly cancer with a general 40% survival rate two years after diagnosis.

Statistically a funny thing has happened in the last 10 years. The number of smokers overall has dropped drastically yet the number of head-and-neck cancers has remained pretty much the same. What was found was that HPV infections began to account for more and more of the new cases of cancer, replacing the smokers and drinkers. That's where I come in.

Most likely what happened to me was that I was exposed to a sexual partner that was HPV positive while I was a teenager. HPV isn't uncommon, almost half of people are exposed at some point in their lives. Nearly all of them clear the disease out of their system and never show a symptom so they then never know they were exposed. In my case I very likely had oral sex with this girl, exposing my throat to the HPV. The virus set up in my tonsil and then was never properly cleared by my immune system. Once there it can remain dormant for decades until you become tired or run down and your immune system dips from normal middle age progression of life. Once the HPV virus gets a foothold you can develop cancer at the site of infection which then quickly spreads into the lymphatic system.

One very interesting thing is that HPV-caused cancer is biologically the same as smoker's head-and-neck cancer but the treatment rate is much higher. There is a nearly 90% five year survival rate for early diagnosed cases (where I'm at) and greater treatment success across the board compared to the smoker/drinker versions.

It's still a very quick-to-grow cancer and treatment is as brutal as it gets for cancer patients. Radiation for head-and-neck cancer is among the highest amounts given and arguably the most painful course. Chemo courses are normally a drug called cisplatin, though in the last couple of years doctors are switching to a combination of drugs called carboplatin and paclitaxel (Taxol). I'm on the latter set of chemo drugs as the reactions are less and the efficacy of the combination seems to be better. All I can tell you is it sucks eggs because I want to die currently (I'm only half joking). It's a brutal course to run these treatments together but I just keep concentrating on getting through it.

Hope this explains everything. If not you are welcome to ask away. I also hope I didn't exceed any rules against adult discussions. As you can see though, there are likely a bunch of guys reading this that fall under the same category as me and it would do them well to remember this if they get a sore throat that won't go away, especially if neck lumps develop along with it.

Oh yeah, and my family is doing well. I sat my wife down at the beginning of this and we had a pretty intense discussion. I laid it out for her about how sick I would be, my odds of recovery, and how this would almost surely financially destroy us to fight. I gave her the option to leave and not be subject to the pain and cost of treatment. I know it sounds odd reading this but you have to allow for the people you love to not have to walk this road if they aren't 100% committed. Yeah, you marry for better or worse but this is nothing anyone should have to endure. My cancer will directly affect her now and there is no way for me to mitigate that if she decides to stay. I just wanted her to know the path and her options.

To my great relief she confirmed her commitment and told me she would never leave, no matter how bad it gets. True to her word she's been there at every turn, doing anything I need at any time and never gets upset or grossed out. We've been married 16 years and I never knew she had such an inner strength...Words can't describe how lucky a guy I am.

Whew. Hope that covered everything...
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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by David » Thu Dec 06, 2012 9:25 am

Hey Kelly. Sounds like you got a keeper, wife wise. The other (cancer) you can get rid of. Take care.

P.S. I am glad to see you around again.
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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Feralidragon » Fri Dec 07, 2012 8:19 am

David wrote:Hey Kelly. Sounds like you got a keeper, wife wise.
Word.

Just read you explanation through and all I can think is that you're a damn lucky guy. Yeah, cancer is though, but you got one that has at least high chances of survival, that's good to hear. :)
Yeah, I cannot imagine the situation you're in right now, but at least you got it in time.

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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Kelly » Sun Mar 31, 2013 3:44 pm

Thought I might drop you guys an update.

I'm about 60% recovered from things. Back to work but it's still tough most days. I completed chemo/radiation and now I'm just concentrating on recovery. I've lost about 75 pounds now since November, here's a comparison shot I made a couple weeks ago:
compare.jpg
I'm in remission now and the future looks OK. I lost some of my hearing, some of my taste, and some of my ability to say certain words. My voice is very different now too, much rougher and weak. Not really a bad trade though considering I was stage IV. On the plus side I had my feeding tube removed almost a week ago so I've been able to feed myself sufficiently to go forward.

I expect it will be mid-summer or so before I'm back to full speed. I have one more surgery (to remove the chemo port) but aside from that the treatments are over (crossed fingers). I still sleep a lot and there's a good share of pain in my jaw and neck but overall I'm on the down side of the ordeal.

I don't have any plans to return to UT. I just thought I might pop in and post an update. I spoke with Hitty a little in teamspeak today and it made me think about stopping by here too. Hope everyone is well and I wish you guys a very happy Easter!

Kel
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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Hermskii » Sun Mar 31, 2013 4:53 pm

Crap! I don't have a moment to answer this properly. I will have to come back to it. Main point easily would be that it is great to see you and I think you look great too. The news is even better. I have honestly prayed for you and will continue to anyways. I'm hearing plenty around me about folks getting sick in different sorts of ways. It is awful. The good part is you are better right now. Thanks a million for dropping in here and letting us see you!
~Peace~

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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Nelsona » Tue Apr 02, 2013 12:44 pm

Kelly wrote:I don't have any plans to return to UT. I just thought I might pop in and post an update.
Wrong answer. You will be recovered, later you'll need some hobby (many years over one thing aren't so easy to forget), beside this, MHLite is waiting your decisions. When you are ready do to small stuff I'll send you a few things (I think is not very necessary to speak what I fixed because of ... rules :D - you can improve some "fix" to look more like an add-on....) anyway Nelsona.IsInState('Waiting','NextMHRace');

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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Hermskii » Tue Apr 02, 2013 3:54 pm

No rest for the healthy? Sorry Kelly. Nelsona has some work for you to do. I'm glad too.
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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Kelly » Tue Apr 02, 2013 7:26 pm

Sorry gents, but I really am done. Something about staring your mortality in the face to reorder your priorities. I just popped in to say hello and update things a bit.
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Re: Kelly is very sick.

Post by Nelsona » Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:53 am

You might have right about mortality chapter. A few year ago when I was shaked by some electricity I did not talk with anybody 2 hours. Death gave me a sign "Hello I'm around - Interested about deal ?" and I was 25 years old in that time. Computing priorities will help a bit, but ... you don't want to blame yourself someday for unfinished works - love family, get rest, follow advices from experts, you know what I mean, and finally you can toy a bit with UScript (30 minutes/day) depending on your capacity.

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