An Atheist in the Woods

[a nameless entity]

An atheist in the woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river,
he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
& saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his
left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit
creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light,
'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'

' Very Well.' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

[Hermskii]

I read that whole thing. It was OK. Thanks for sharing.

[EvilGrins]

I heard a somewhat shorter version of this a few years ago on the yearly comedy hour the Prarie Home Companion does.

[Hermskii]

I just read it again and liked it way more the second time. Good one! I must have been in an awful mood the first time!

[a nameless entity]

Hey Herm. I was looking for something else that I had posted a few years ago when I found this thread. I totally had forgotten about this joke and laughed when I read it. So I bumped it to the top. I see that the date of your original reply has been changed from 2009 to the day of this year that I bumped the thread up. So that odd glitch that changes the date of posting when using the bump option still exists. Hmmmmm.......

[Hermskii]

I wonder if it will still exist when I upgrade the forum after I move it.

[a nameless entity]

I wonder if it will still exist when I upgrade the forum after I move it.

Originally 2009, changed to 2013..... and now?...........

oh, I didn't bump it.....

does that option still exist?...... ah, yes it does but the button is small....
and it seems that you can only bump your own threads. interesting....

[Hermskii]

Where is the bump button?

[a nameless entity]

If I have this right it seems that it must be your own thread, and that the thread has been inactive for a certain period of time.
You'll find it on the navigation bar just below "post reply":

Subscribe topic | Bookmark topic | Print view | E-mail friend | Bump topic

Edit: There, I just successfully bumped my old "Funny Money" thread, and the post date remained intact and original.

[Hermskii]

Cool! So that issue is fixed.

[EvilGrins]

Cool! So that issue is fixed.

No, it just freaked me out.

The viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3180 thread has a reply from me at the bottom. According to the timestamp it was done at 11:51am, today... but I just logged in at 5:10pm.

Why is a comment I made in 2012 now have today's date on it?!?

[a nameless entity]

Dang me, I just went and checked that thread on my own to see that it is the last post in the thread that gets its date changed. And I see that EG has beaten me to it in reporting that oddity.

But I am sure that the date of his original reply was intact at the time that I bumped the thread yesterday. Time to bump one more to see if I am wrong again or not.

I was wrong again. Hook's reply Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:01 am

Now reads Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2014 10:34 pm The same date as the little message at the bottom of his post saying that I bumped the thread at that exact same time.

Weird!