K - did you try setting your player install to the dialup speed?
28k to 56k on your network tab.
You may even go into your ini file and set your connection to lower than 2600 that that setting defaults to.
You see, when you connect to your own server on your own machine, the connection is way too fast.
It tends to "trip" over its own feet.
You have to restrain it even more than the players on the outside of your network.
Play is best on another comp than the server (and set it slower also) but if you must play on the same machine, you gotta really constrict the bandwidth even more.
Also, you gotta lower the specs a bit too like you resolution maybe to keep your CPU from over taxing itself.
There is a "happy medium" you must find with a bit of trial and error.
I am zeroing in on my sweet spot with my server currently.
It is getting better and better.
